How to Wake Up & Take Control of Your Life
Ready for some real talk? Ready to raise the bar with me? Because I’m done shrinking, staying small, limiting my growth, and playing it safe to make others feel more comfortable.
Isn’t that fucked up? We don’t want others to experience the discomfort of the truth, whether it’s that they might not show up, or that we might need too much from them. So instead of causing them any discomfort, we make ourselves smaller and smaller, acting like we don’t have any needs. At some point, that creates a relationship container that’s too small for us.
Meanwhile, our heart is bursting for bigness, for something more. There’s moments where we think, maybe there’s something more here, something more to life. Our hearts yearn to take care of the planet, to create a love that’s beautiful and unconditional. But then we look for examples of people who are doing just that, and find the opposite. Where are the communities of people living the lives we want to lead?
When we’re invited to pay attention to the truth, we’re actually in a state of rebellion. We’re going against the societies, communities, religious groups, corporations, and even people who deny accountability and responsibility.
By rebelling, you are now someone who’s creating that. You’re someone who is on the forefront of that. You’re creating a new world.
And if people ghost you because of that? Good! And good riddance! Because that’s the universe saving you from mediocrity. If someone can’t show up for you and they ghost you or disappear because you have standards? They didn’t meet your standards. That’s the point of the standard. They didn’t meet it, so they fall away and make room for more, for better.
We can’t expect our families to approve of our bigness. We can’t expect our relationship to approve of our bigness. You have to be big and accept for a moment that you might be alone. But you won’t actually be alone, because you’ll be filled with your fullness, with your love, and you’ll find other people who are also on that path with you.
When people fall back into being small, it’s often to please people or gain validation from others — validation that doesn’t come when you’re focused on your bigness. Let go of the need for validation. It’s never gonna come for you. The real validation will come from you saying, “It doesn’t fucking matter, I’m showing up anyways.”
Consider this your invitation to bigness. If you can’t right now, that doesn’t mean you won’t one day. It doesn’t mean that you’re ‘not enough.’ It just might not be your time or your moment. We all have moments where we’re invited to grow, to love, to change, to tell the truth, and we weren’t ready to pay attention. Maybe we didn’t accept the invitation to let go of toxic behaviours or change our lives, but maybe we weren’t ready to accept it. The same goes for apologies: sometimes we’re waiting around for that apology, but we aren’t actually willing to accept it. And we aren’t actually willing to step forward to apologize or invite ourselves into growth.